3. Control what you can

Much of the time we lament the things we cannot control only to end up not having enough mental energy to think of how we can control the things we are able to control. There is little we can do to change when the pandemic ends, when the quarantine will be lifted, how many people it will end up affecting (other than doing your part to comply with social distancing guidelines), how much money you will end up losing in the stock market, and so on. Instead of spending precious mental energy contemplating these global issues, I recommend asking yourself more specifically: “Is there anything I can do about this right now?”. If the answer is “yes”, then write down what it is (perhaps, it is consulting with a financial assistant or discussing postponing a mortgage payment with your bank), and do it as soon as you can. If the answer is “no,” then let it go and accept that there is much in life we cannot control; this situation is simply highlighting this universal reality. After you’ve put your worries to the side, ask yourself this question: “What can I control within the confinements of this situation?”, The answer might be changing  your workout regimen so that it’s more doable (there are plenty of YouTube videos with great short workouts!), going on long walks, practicing healthy coping skills like diaphragmatic breathing, meditation, and so on. Establishing a predictable routine, resting on a consistent sleep/wake cycle, eating regular meals, and exercising can help to establish a semblance of familiarity and consistency, which cannot be
underrated during these times of chaos and uncertainty. Putting effort into controlling what you can, and letting go of what you cannot, will help you to feel more in control and boost your sense of wellbeing.

4. Have perspective

Speaking of distorted thinking, another common type is called “mental filter.” Mental filter occurs when we focus on one (or a few) aspect(s) of a situation and filter out or ignore other aspects. For example, when giving a talk to a group of associates at work, and one person said something mildly critical, you obsess about that criticism and ignore all of the positive/neutral feedback you otherwise received. Mental filtering makes us lose perspective and can even lead to depression and anxiety. It is important to work on recognizing when we are engaging in distorted thinking and to develop a more balanced perspective on the situation. In this case, a more accurate thought would be “While I have some things to improve upon, overall it seems my talk went well”. With regards to the pandemic, you might think to yourself “While my financial situation has been negatively impacted and it’s tough to stay home and be isolated from my friends and loved ones, I know I still have my savings to fall back on and my health is good. While this isn’t an ideal situation, it is far worse for some people and I have some things that are going well”.

5. Make meaning

As noted above, we need to accept what we cannot control, and work on controlling what we can; but we can take this a step further. In his influential book “A Man’s Search for Meaning,” Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived the concentration camp at Auschwitz, reflects on the importance of meaning in our lives and its key role in surviving challenging situations and persevering in the face of obstacles.  Making meaning of the current situation could make all the difference in how we weather this crisis. Seeing this as an opportunity to grow, to learn new skills, to become creative in the use of telehealth or working from home, to build a stronger bond with our kids, and so on. Perhaps, you are struggling with isolation – this may afford you the opportunity, you otherwise would not have considered, to join a virtual chat group based on your hobbies or your mental health struggles. This may afford you the opportunity to better yourself by finally learning another language or reading that book you’ve been wanting to or starting to grow your own garden. Seeing this situation not as something to weather, but rather something to make the most of, can be a powerful perspective-change that will result in lasting positive results despite a few inevitable struggles.