Hang in there, Mama!
Published
July 28, 2020
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But today I say to you: hang in there, tired mama!
For me, this year began full of hope and optimism. My goals were to do yoga on a more regular basis and to incorporate some weights and cardio to get my heart rate going and to tone up my body that is still supposedly recovering from my youngest son who is now 3. My goals were also to visit my family more often and to reunite with my old college friend. I was also hoping to do a big no-kid trip over the summer as I was turning 40 this year. That was going to be my gift to myself on my big birthday. Instead my big gift ended up being takeout from some seafood restaurant of which I had never heard before but which was open and did delivery, without guests, without much to-do, surrounded by three little boys and an exhausted husband. Just another run-of-the-mill day. Oh, plus the seafood.
Instead of more frequent yoga classes, I have now attended zero classes effective mid-March and my cardio and toning consists of running after my three boys and pulling them away from one another to prevent a murder. My trips have consisted of a drive through downtown and some hot buggy trails, and I have seen zero family since the start of it all. This has been a year of disappointments, exhaustion, anxiety, frustration, helplessness, and hopelessness. This has been the year of awfulness for so many people, where my privileged complains pale in comparison to what many have had to endure, including loss of jobs, loss of loved ones, and the ultimate chaos that a pandemic brings into our homes.
Today let me remind you of the infinite strength, endurance, and wisdom that you already possess, even though lately you haven’t felt strong or patient or wise.
But today I say to you: hang in there, tired mama! Today let me remind you of the infinite strength, endurance, and wisdom that you already possess, even though lately you haven’t felt strong or patient or wise. Today, let me tell you a tale of how you persevered through those crazy pregnancies, how you have survived (I know, it didn’t feel like we would, every time!) those deliveries. How you were worried over every ultrasound, every doctor’s visit since, over milestones, over any suspicious deviation from what you thought was normal, over any teacher’s concern… How you have lost nights and days worrying about giving enough, loving enough, setting a good example, judging yourself, then doing it all over again the next day. Let me remind you how many times you’ve felt that things were out of control and how many times it all ended up ok… your kids are gonna be ok.. you will make sure of it. Let me remind you, brave mama, that your kids are more resilient than you give them credit. But you are scared, I know, because from much love comes much fear. Your fear of being good enough for them, you fear of screwing them up with another hour of iPad or a “wrong” decision about how to handle schools in the fall, the million never ending mess of decisions that weigh ever so heavily upon your exhausted shoulders. I see you, mama. I know you, mama. And I know something else- you can do this too, mama. Hang in there, mama, it will all work out in the end. Hang in there!
How did you know I needed to read this today my love. I thank you for understanding the struggle and how real it is. Every single word you wrote hit home for me and I am more than sure others. Love you for it Sis. #tiredassmama. But would not change a thing. I can do this … I will do this …I have done this